I notice the way the light is leaving her eyes, slowly and not all at once. They don’t sparkle anymore, not even when she’s discussing her favourite book or film. They are cold and hard and lonely all together.
I notice the way she smiles less and less every day, even when I am trying my best to make it happen. Her lips would twist into a mockery of a smile so sharp it cuts.
I notice as the spring disappears from her step. She no longer sways to the beat of that one song that used to fill her with boundless energy. Instead she’s filled with an exhaustion that seems to never fade away.
I notice her voice turning quiet, almost disappearing altogether. She doesn’t sing along to her favourite songs any longer, she doesn’t even hum the tune.
I notice her loss of interest in ordinary things, especially her interest in knitting. Her hobby lies forgotten and gathering dust as she stares out of the window into nothingness.
I notice her loss of appetite, even if she herself won’t. She’s always full, always nauseas. It’s a daily battle just to get her to drink a cup of her favourite tea.
I notice how she loves less and less. She is no longer capable of such an emotion while engulfed by a sea of darkness.
I notice her sluggish movements, the way she struggles to walk with the weight of lead on her shoulders. It grasps her shoulders, refusing to let go and pushing her down. She is going to drown.
I notice her struggle against the black waves. She is losing the fight, and with it her motivation seeps away into the water. Her awareness grows dead in the freezing water.
I notice her losing her fight. She grows numb to her surroundings, uncaring to her friends, hateful towards herself.
I notice her.